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Poolman Reviews
Very much in the Long Goodbye/Big Lebowski/Inherent Vice tradition of stoned L.A. mystery-solving.
Poolman hits the story beats found in any crime mystery with a few added random surprises.
Pine tries Atlmanesque overlapping dialogue, surreal-dream indulgences, love-letter shots of L.A., bleached noir strokes... and madcap Coen Bros. homages that are such comedic failures you’ll want to rename the movie Burn After Watching.
Poolman... does not have the luxury of being the funny type of bad; it’s just altogether bad, an astounding misfire that plenty of talented people got roped into and then given absolutely nothing to work with, for an entertainment-free 100 minutes.
There is a great deal of intrigue but just as much baffling confusion, revealing a film with tremendous potential that makes selective use of its assets for a hypnotic but ultimately chaotic viewing experience.
Chris Pine is usually a likable screen presence but he’s let down here by a flimsy script and over-indulgent direction -- which could have something to do with the co-screenwriter (Chris Pine) and the first-time director (er, Chris Pine).
…Pine the writer deals Pine the director a crook hand; Poolman is crammed full of cringe-worthy self-awareness…jammed with weird ideas and oddball scenes, you certainly won’t forget you saw it…
With a protagonist who’s not as cool as The Dude and a mystery that isn’t as pulpy as Under the Silver Lakes’, Pine’s LA noir directorial debut fails to make much of a splash as a genre piece.
Poolman is like a flimsy and faulty floating device that's full of holes and quickly sinks due to its sheer incompetence. This comedy noir mystery is very un-amusing and incoherent. Everyone involved in this mess should be embarrassed.
This comedy (which is Pine's directorial debut), tries to be a love letter to L.A., and in that regard, it manages a few sweet, weird moments, but mostly it's noisy, jumpy, and ill-paced.
Like its bohemian title character, the film is more obnoxious than endearing, and too overloaded with quirks.
A pleasant, occasionally silly 100 minutes, and a fine actors showcase.
I’m sure Pine meant well. He probably had a good idea and couldn’t execute it. An incredibly stoned person wouldn’t be able to decipher Poolman—and neither can a general audience.
It's fun! Yes, I was almost pushed to the edge a few times, but it's fun if you don't expect too much.
On some level, this is sort of a hot mess, but it's a really enjoyable hot mess.
Darren Barrenman is a strange dude, and because he exists, Chris Pine seems like he might be a much stranger dude than we realized. It’s a pleasure to take a dip in this pool, man.
Committed performances by a game cast can’t keep Poolman afloat when dragged down by a ponderous script that seems to confuse volume for depth.
There is potential in the silly idea of an LA-loving poolman stumbling into a detective case, but the wrong aspects of that wackiness are heightened, making this mostly insufferable but also an intriguing disaster
A dull, meandering, painfully unfunny and unimaginative attempt at satire.
Pine's directorial debut is an irreverent comic strip stretched into a 90-minute film that's a dull, hollow, and shallow tribute to a genre with such a stunning lack of substance it becomes an excruciatingly insignificant and futile cinematic experience.