The Next Best Thing

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Theodore L Feb 23, 2006 [font=Arial][color=darkred]The Next Best Thing' offers viewers the chance to see an off-kilter romance and drama about the raising of children through standards alternative to modern society. Whatever, it sounded good on paper. What you get, of course, is implausible and dismal politically correct drivel served cold.[/color][/font] [font=Arial][color=darkred]Madonna and Rupert are the best of buds, but he's gay. So of course it's only nature and a matter of time before they sleep together and get pregnant. They decide to disclose the idenity of the daddy and raise the child together. Why they never went with the Virgin Birth angle is beyond me. So they raise it. And they do. Madonna dates and brings home strange men to make strange noises through walls. Who says the family is in trouble? Then the Material Girl wants said child for herself... and it pretty much veers further into absurd soap opera from there on out.[/color][/font] [font=Arial][color=darkred]The premise is a rip-off of the earlier 'The Object of My Affection', which in turn was a rip-off of 'Chasing Amy'. Get prepared for countless scenes of Madonna and Rupert galavanting about like they're in a perpetual slumber party. Never in recent memory has a more awkward film been so damn preachy. It's a never ending soapbox of sermons about family values and gay rights. Wonderful -- but if I'm not mistaken wasn't there supposed to be a story somewhere?[/color][/font] [font=Arial][color=darkred]The movie resides as one half comedy (?) then one half drama, neither of which is consistant let alone entertaining. Somewhere there's a violent jolt into an out-of-place 'Kramer vs. Kramer' courtroom battle royale. If the audience is supposed to feel for Madonna's character then nothing like a selfish child custody battle to win the hearts of everyone![/color][/font] [font=Arial][color=darkred]Who's the victim in this? Not the child - it's the audience.[/color][/font] [font=Arial][color=darkred]Rupert Everett may be the only redeeming part of this uneven and mushy dramedy of lapsed judgement. His charm is evidant and his leading-man ability carries the film as long as he can until it implodes on itself. I could clearly hear sighs around me of "If only he weren't gay." in the theater. Go Rupert. At least someone has some acting ability instead of an excuse to sell soundtracks.[/color][/font] [font=Arial][color=darkred]Madonna is clearly the biggest hinderance in 'The Next Best Thing'. Whenever she speaks it's like she's reciting lines into a mirror. Madonna has some mysterious British accent she seems to have picked up and is as wooden as a board./color][/font] [font=Arial][color=darkred]If 'The Next Best Thing' really is the next best thing for Madonna's struggling film career, I'd suggest her next best thing would be to quit. And pray to the other Madonna while doing it. At least she would have enough sense not to do a silly remake of 'American Pie'.[/color][/font] [font=Arial][color=darkred]Nate's Grade: D+ [/color][/font] See more

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The Next Best Thing

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