Mean Machine

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Mean Machine

R,

2002,

1h 38m,

Comedy/

Drama

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Watchlist

32%

56 Reviews

Tomatometer

72%

25,000+ Ratings

Popcornmeter

32%

Tomatometer

56 Reviews

72%

Popcornmeter

25,000+ Ratings

In a rough-and-tumble British prison, where murderers, thieves and assorted madmen are locked away, inmate Danny Meehan is about to lead them all in the ultimate battle of their degenerate lives -- but no one could have guessed it would be a soccer match! Now, in an all-out playoff against the despised guards, the prisoners' goal isn't just to make goals; it's to prove the indomitable nature of the spirit, no matter how much it gets kicked, bloodied or knocked around.

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Critics Consensus

Despite some genuine wit, this crowd pleaser is filled with too many cliches.

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Robert K. Elder

Chicago Tribune

Jul 20, 2002

2.5/4

Holds its ground as a mid-budget Hollywood knockoff.

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Steven Rea

Philadelphia Inquirer

Mar 14, 2002

3.5/4

A likably energetic star vehicle for English sports god Vinnie Jones.

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Rex Reed

Observer

Mar 13, 2002

Another incomprehensible trash explosion from the Guy Ritchie school of cinematic slugfests.

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Alistair Lawrence

Common Sense Media

Apr 28, 2026

2/5

This is an enthusiastic but uneven retelling of The Longest Yard, which was originally made in 1974 starring Burt Reynolds and later remade in 2005 starring Adam Sandler.

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Apollo Guide

May 13, 2005

65/100

Brian Walker

ViewLondon

May 10, 2005

1/5

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Luke W

Mar 2, 2018

Was my favorite sports movie as a kid but this movie did not age well.

Albus S

Jan 5, 2018

This is a pretty lazy movie that uses its star ex-footballer Vinnie Jones to milk some cash. Its harmless and Jason Statham as the unhinged con is the highlight in another pointless remake

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Han S

Jan 2, 2017

although it's filled with clishes, still witty and feel good story.

Theodore L

May 7, 2016

A proper British film made only for us, I've read allot of comments saying how it's terrible because it's too English. Well yeah because it's an English film, It's our version of The longest Yard, These Americans need to remember they are not the only country that make films, The film itself is very funny, Jason Statham as a psychotic Scotsman was brilliant, I thought the main football match at the end could of been better but it's still a good film with a great easy to like cast.

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Finn W

Jul 5, 2007

Can't really remember this. They've got the wrong poster here.

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Barry Skolnick

Director

Vinnie Jones

Danny

Jason Statham

Monk

David Kelly

Doc

David Hemmings

The Governor

Vas Blackwood

Massive

Mean Machine: Official Clip - Monk to Save the Day

2:11

Now Playing

Mean Machine: Official Clip - Solitary Confinement

1:56

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Mean Machine: Official Clip - Danny's Story

2:13

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Mean Machine: Official Clip - Goal!!!

1:57

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Mean Machine: Official Clip - Try-Outs

1:57

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Mean Machine: Official Clip - The Game Winner

2:13

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Mean Machine: Official Clip - It's Showtime!

2:08

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Mean Machine: Official Clip - Lightning Can Strike Twice

1:54

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Mean Machine: Official Clip - Doc's Story

1:55

Now Playing

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Synopsis

In a rough-and-tumble British prison, where murderers, thieves and assorted madmen are locked away, inmate Danny Meehan is about to lead them all in the ultimate battle of their degenerate lives -- but no one could have guessed it would be a soccer match! Now, in an all-out playoff against the despised guards, the prisoners' goal isn't just to make goals; it's to prove the indomitable nature of the spirit, no matter how much it gets kicked, bloodied or knocked around.

Director: Barry Skolnick
Producer: Matthew Vaughn
Screenwriter: Andy Day, Chris Baker
Distributor: Paramount Pictures
Production Co: Paramount Pictures
Rating: R (Some Violence|Language)
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Original Language: English
Release Date (Theaters): Feb 22, 2002, Wide
Release Date (Streaming): Mar 13, 2017
Box Office (Gross USA): $92.7K
Runtime: 1h 38m
Sound Mix: Dolby Stereo, Dolby Digital, Dolby A, Surround, Dolby SR
Aspect Ratio: Scope (2.35:1)

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